Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Best Free Sample I Ever Ate

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Being a person with limited shelf space, no car, a 4th floor walk-up and only one person to feed really gets in the way of needing to buy in bulk.

But as a child, like almost any child, I was pumped for a trip to Sam's (this was long before the days of Costco). Sam's - where all the candy looked like it was going to be sold at my softball field snack bar. Rows of 12 packs of Big League chew and tubs of gummi worms, tongs included.The joy wasn't just inspired by the candy aisle. That HUGE trampoline, and Sam's Choice soda for a quarter that really wasn't the same but still okay.

All this was grand but, let us be honest, it was the free samples that kept the people rolling through the doors and buying food items that come on pallets.

One could go to Sam’s on Sunday morning and leave a few hours later full from a meal made up of a hundred tiny finger foods. Mostly processed, all pretty terrible, but free. Free. Imagine my delight when by happenchance I got to darken these bulk buying doors again.

I call it "Costco Tiny Food Surprise, or the Best Free Sample I Ever Ate"

Scene: Costco, somewhere in Denver.

Hordes have descended to buy flats of bottled water, olive oil and cheap cashmere. Mini mobs are starting to form around each silver stand,a retiree cheerily hocking small bites of frozen food.
The only unhappy faces being those retirees sentenced to demo carpet cleaners. Everyone else is smiling with tiny sample forks in their hands.

Chipper Retiree: "Would you like a free sample? "
CandyAnna: "What is it?"
Chipper Retiree: "A mini root beer float made with Hansons All Natural Root Beer. On special today. You can't beat this deal"
CandyAnna: "What?"
Chipper Retiree: "A mini root beer float made with Hansons. It will only take me a second to make more."
CandyAnna: "I’ll wait."

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