Mexican Sundaes by Jack Wickes

Photo by Jack Wickes

Just lovely.

Tales from a Greasefire

***Due to me just not having my camera around this is just a re-enactment. The role of my pictures will be played by randos from the internet.

It was Sunday night and the Mad Men season finale started promptly at 10. Things were moving along swimmingly, Jenna & Ryan had just put the two Shepard's Pies into the

(one lamb and one ground beef)

hot hot oven set at 450 and my sharp cheddar buttermilk buiscuits were right on schedule to join them. I had just dumped in the baking soda when we noticed that the room had gotten a little smoky.

"Geez, the smoke alarm is going to go off"

We waved towels below the smoke alarm and opened the kitchen window

"Is it supposed to be smoking so much? What is that? "
"It's the shepard's pie. It is dripping oil."

I looked back from the window and dark gray smoke was pouring out of the oven. We continued waving our towels and dancing around, blind from the smoke burning out eyes. No, no - it is just a little oil- it will be FINE.

"Is that fire, like actual fire??"

"Yeah. It is just the oil it will be...OH god. Wow, that is pretty bad."

"Just put a some water on it" said Ryan. in unison.

"NOOOOO, the four of us screamed in unison."



"Wait...grease fire. Is it baking powder or baking soda?"

"I don't know....ooooh i don't want to use the wrong thing."

Smoke was now all over the place and the fire alarm was going on with a vengence. The teaspoon meant for salt I had in my hand with my towel fell to the floor.

***not actually our apartment. Found for free on the internet titled "Greasefire" That guy up there is not true to life either- just funny.

"OH god. Somebody call someone's mom! NOW!!"

Camille raced to the living room. Ring, Ring:

"Hello?"
"MOM, Grease Fire - what do you do?

Then with a long drawn out pause and absolutely no sense of urgency....
"Wait, what? A greasefire? Yeah, just a some baking soda....maybe a wet towel"

The minute she said baking soda Matt threw the full contents of my newly purchased baking soda all over the bottom of the oven to save the day! We watched it sputter and die.

Thank god the Shepard's Pies were on the top rack They were delicious and with just a hint of smoky flavor. Thanks to Moms everywhere and bye bye Mad Men. I love you Moms, Shepards pie, and Mad Men.

I am Back and Still Eating Breakfast Sandwiches

This time a Southern one. I have been gone for awhile, I know but I am back and I brought you this. It's a Southern Fried Egg Sandwich with Bacon.

1. Biscuit

2. Bacon Bacon Bacon

3. Two Eggs Overhard

4. American Cheese - nothing fancy, please

5. Biscuit

Served by our lovely waitress with tightly cropped hair, multiple face piercings, and a genteel Southern drawl. 3 in the morning, a huge Diet Coke, and side o' these.

Cajun Encounters is Not An Ad on Craigs List : New Orleans & Southern Candymakers

If you call to make an reservation to see some bayou wildlife, and a man named Rene wants to meet you at a rest stop next to Lake Pontchartrain, you have called the wrong phone #. Trust me. Dodged that bullet. Image by Mark Laita.

Actually Cajun Encounters was a fantastic non-air boat tour of the Honey Island Swamp, led by a tour guide chock full of eco-knowledge and tall tales. His tales included-

1. raising an alligator in his backyard as part of a conservation project

2. the reason babies don't get eat in Louisiana by gators, but do in Florida

3. finding his old Cajun grandfather dead while fishing in a swamp (just like he had always predicted he would die)

4. The correct manner to harvest the interior of antique upholstery.

5. forcing his friendship on his neighbor Brad Pitt in the French Quarter.

How much was true? All of it - or so I prefer to believe. It is more fun that way.

We saw some of these.




















And then- one of these which threw my friend in convulsions. A dragonfly. Spooky scary, I know.

Then back to the French Quarter to Southern Candymakers where we saw some of these:

And the country's best pralines - so says Southern Living Magazine. I can't vouch. Pralines have just not ever been my favorite. But the candy sure was lovely...



More tales for the New Orleans. Thanks blog- I have also been wanting to tell that Cajun Encounters joke for weeks!

LIVE AT THE IMA: ANDY WARHOL MADE APPETIZERS

This is a live, breaking report from the opening of "Andy Warhol Enterprises" at the Indianapolis Museum of Art by cub reporter Julia Z. Wickes. Going on...as we type. Based on local NBC affiliate WTRH, this exhibit seems to be an overview of Andy Warhol's career from commercial art to the his death- emphasis on the commercial (P.S. don't read this article. It is really stupid). You got me, IMA. I want to see your exhibit.

It is then only fitting that Shrimp with Tabasco is served at this event. How appropriate that this delicious looking shrimp is served with an individual mini bottle of a branded hot sauce. If Andy Warhol ate or cooked, this is what he would make. Commercial it up! Well done caterer. Well done.

Lean Pocketbook Stew, goes perfect with Taylor Ham

When money is tight, my cooking always gets better. I get more creative, resourceful, and frugal, then my Pop's going, money having self would ever be.

I accept this challenge. I will utilize the items in my pantry and STILL make something delicious on the cheap. I made the below list and decided to base this off a South Beach Diet recipe someone posted somewhere.

What I had:

-1 big can of black beans
-1 reg can of garbanzo beans
-1 baby can of tomato sauce
- 1/4 of a yellow onion
-1 medium sized potato
-chicken broth
-Taylor Ham ***seriously, the only protein I had
-cumin
-chili powder
-salt
-pepper

What I bought:

-1 large yellow onion
-1 clove of garlic
-1 can of diced tomatoes

What I regret not buying:

-fresh tomatoes
-more Daryl Lea Strawberry or Green Apple licorice


I Call it: Fall Time "I Went To New Orleans" Stew

-Peel and cube 1 medium potato.
-Cut up 1 whole medium yellow onion.

Cook up the potatoes and onions in a pan with high sides with olive oil, rosemary and a little sea salt (and Greek Spice if you are related to me)

When the potatoes are about 83% cooked through

-add rinsed off black beans
-add rinsed off garbanzo beans
-add 2/3 cup of chicken broth

Stir

-add tomato sauce
-add chopped tomatoes

Stir, stir, stir.

-add chili powder, cumin, salt and pepper to taste. I like a lot of all those things.

Keep at a medium heat to cook off some of the liquid and then simmer for about 20 minutes or so. Test every now and again to see how cooked through the potatoes are. No one likes a partially uncooked potato, my roommate and I both agreed. Also add in more chili powder, cumin, salt and pepper as you want.

Taylor Ham Part!!

Fry up slices of Taylor Ham given to you by your friends from New Jersey. 1-2 per person.

When the stew has simmered down and the potatoes are cooked through, cut up 2 pieces of porkroll (taylor ham) and spread around the bottom of the bowl. Spoon the stew on top.

Ridiculous. The stew is hearty and savory- and mixed with the ham is too good.

See Virginia, there really is a silver lining to every lean pocketbook.

What We Ate That Day: New Orleans

We arrived early. I arrived at 12 ish and my Chicago friend and my Hawaii friend at 2:30. I arrived hungry but determined to wait. They arrived starving and determined not to wait. We got to the hotel and then...waited. Are fourth friend was just arrived so we then became determined to wait. Our Denver friend arrived. Hurray!

We struck out into the quarter and stopped at the first place that looked delicious. Please note that a mixture of hunger, fatigue, and frozen cocktails has remove my ability to remember the names of any of these places.



We started with the above - fried green tomatoes & shrimp



Mine. I would prefer to eat this all the time.



My Chicago friend (I think) got this one. Shrimp Po'Boy with Fried Green Tomatoes.



Due to my Chicago friend's fantastic job perks we came home to this! This is the best ever, super special Marriott HAWAIIAN CHEESE PLATE! Only for super special people. Thank you Marriott!

Several hours, several frozen or brightly colored drinks, and many dance parties later we decided to eat this.




Thanks for the lovely trip friends!

Sbarro Ready Does Have the Perfect Width-ed Pizza: Post Nola Breakdown

I know I am just returning from New Orleans and should be waxing poetic about the crawfish etoufee & beigeighs. But I am not gonna.

I was stewing in the sort of mild depression that can only be brought on by saying goodbye to old friends without any idea of the next visit. Then I was brought to my knees by the news that my connecting flight from Philadelphia to New York-Laguardia was going to be delayed 1 hour. So, completely unlike Buffy St. Marie and Wounded Knee, I decided to bury my heart at Sbarro in the F Concourse at the Philadelphia Airport.



Please note that my pizza did not look like this.

I will say that after 3.5 days of rich foods and fruity drinks with undisclosed amounts of alcohol, the somewhat cardboard-y consistency of a piece of Sbarro's Pepperoni Pizza and a well mixed fountain Diet Coke was a welcome change.

Oily-topped and warmed up in the “pizza oven,” a slice and soda was exactly what I needed. The cheese was lukewarm and the pepperoni was slightly spicy. The crust lacked the beautifully salty taste of New York street slices, but was crispy and the perfect amount of bread. Slices should have a crust that is the width of 1 medium mouthful. Any less and it tastes like a cracker, any more is too much bread.

Hey Sbarro. I admire your mediocre food, bad service and perfectly width-ed crust that only a robot could make. I heart your fountain Diet Coke and I truly respect your business plan of servicing the tired, the frustrated, the hungry, and most importantly the captive audiences of the mall and airport.

New Orleans foodie love is coming. But in the meantime, please bring on the saltines and Alka Selzer for a bit.